Emotional Intelligence and EQ

Grey Swan Guild
10 min readJun 3, 2022


Craft-Building Series Edition #31 — The Main Determinant for Leadership

Author: Sean Moffitt, Co-Founder, Grey Swan Guild & Cygnus Ventures

Anyone can become angry-that is easy. But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way-this is not easy.

— Aristotle, The Nicomachean Ethics

The Discussion:

Emotional intelligence (EI) is most often defined as the ability to perceive, use, understand, manage, and handle emotions.

Emotional quotient (EQ) measures your ability to recognize emotion in yourself and others, and to use that awareness to guide your decisions, centered on abilities such as:

  • Identifying emotions
  • Evaluating how others feel
  • Controlling one’s own emotions
  • Perceiving how others feel
  • Using emotions to facilitate social communication
  • Relating to others

Join or listen to our discussion on Clubhouse: https://bit.ly/gsg31emotionalintelligence

Let’s build our craft among peers — here is the discussion being held Friday, June 3rd 1pm ET/10am PT: https://bit.ly/gsg31emotionalintelligence


The concept of Emotional Strength was first introduced by Abraham Maslow in the 1950s. “Emotional intelligence” first t appears in a 1964 paper by Michael Beldoch. The idea of emotional intelligence was pioneered by two researchers, Peter Salavoy and John Mayer in their article “Emotional Intelligence” in the journal Imagination, Cognition, and Personality in 1990. It was later popularized by Dan Goleman in his 1995 book Emotional Intelligence. The first published use of the term ‘EQ’ (Emotional Quotient) is an article by Keith Beasley in 1987 in the British Mensa magazine.

In 1983, Howard Gardners proposed that there are multiple intelligences, 8 in fact:

Some of this work has led to acceleration of interest that we see today.

Emotional Intelligence Trends — Citations, Source: Google NGram

Emnotional Intelligence Aspects :

Some call emotional intelligence a new type of cognitive intelligence, some call it merely a form of intelligence — the ability to abstract meaning form emotions and some people say it is mischaracterized as an intelligence and it’s either acquired knowledge or behavior.

Emotional intelligence has two key domains:

  • Recognize, understand and manage our own emotions and;
  • Recognize, understand and influence the emotions of others.

“EI,” which comprises four domains: self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and relationship management:

The Four Branch Model (Mayer and Salovey)

The Bar-On model of Emotional-Social Intelligence (ESI)

  1. Self-awareness
    Self-awareness means always knowing what you feel and what your feelings mean.

You should also know how your feelings are affecting other people in your surroundings.
You need to understand your strengths and weaknesses and be aware of what you need to to use them both appropriately.

2. Self-regulation
Next step after understanding your emotions is being in control of them.

You need to be in control of your negative feelings and use them constructively to solve problems, not to scream or be angry.
You also hold accountable.

3. Motivation
People with high emotional intelligence are also very good at motivating themselves without needing external support.

This means that they have a high quality standard for themselves and others.
People with high emotional intelligence set goals and motivate themselves to reach those goals. They also have a great ability to motivate others by understanding what motivates them on an individual level.

4. Empathy
Empathy is very important. You have to be able to put yourself into someone else’s shoes, understand them and approach them with something that they can relate to.

Empathy plays an important role in handling conflict, making people see the bigger picture, and motivating others.

5. Social skills
People who have great social skills are good communicators both in the sense of translating ideas to the others and listening to their needs and complaints.

They are very good at recognizing problems and very open to hearing both good and bad news. They also know how to praise others and how to criticize them constructively

Modified Bar On Model — Multi- Health

Goleman’s model is 2x2:

The Pyramid of Emotional Intelligence (Net Media Lab)

EmoSocio Construct Emotional Intelligence

I recently took an Emotional Intelligence test and here were 20 questions given:

  • I am good at clearly communicating my thoughts and feelings.
  • I listen carefully when other people talk.
  • I take initiative and am highly motivated, even when I don’t feel like doing something
  • When I am under pressure, I am able to think clearly and stay focused.
  • I am generally guided by my goals and values rather than the goals and values of others.
  • I recognize when I am feeling stressed, and I have go-to ways to calm myself down.*
  • I recognize when I am feeling angry, and I am able to avoid losing my temper or lashing out.*
  • I am good at seeing things from another person’s viewpoint.
  • I am confident voicing a viewpoint about what is right, even if it is an unpopular opinion.
  • I am good at adapting and mixing with a variety of people.
  • I can tell if a team of people are not getting along with each other
  • When I feel anxious, I usually know the reason(s).
  • I am able to avoid letting stressful situations from work/school affect my personal life.
  • I am good at reconciling differences with other people.
  • I am aware of my personal strengths and limitations.
  • If I am not skilled at something yet, I stay positive and work even harder.
  • I try to understand how other people feel and think.
  • I work very well with a group or team.
  • I achieve a healthy balance of getting work/tasks done while also prioritizing relationships.
  • I am comfortable owning my mistakes.

How did you do?

Strongest Applications in:

Emotional intelligence and EQ is frequently used in building leadership, evaluating job performance, understanding dynamics of teams, looking at the ability of salespeople and showing resilience in the face of diversity; and on detecting gaps, such as within bullying situations, health and addictions.

Within specific situations, Managing emotions is especially important in situations when we are under pressure, especially when we are…

  • Giving and receiving feedback, coaching & motivating others
  • Meeting tight deadlines
  • Dealing with challenging relationships or resolving conflicts
  • Not having enough resources
  • Navigating change and building culture
  • Working through setbacks and failure, providing psychological safety

Within our personal lives, emotional intelligence helps us:

  • Having uncomfortable conversations without hurting feelings
  • Managing our emotions when stressed or feeling overwhelmed
  • Improving relationships with the people we care about

Emotional Intelligence Skills Inventory:

Here’s a listing of the top 40+ emotional intelligence skills

40+ Emotional Intelligence Sub-Skills Source: CareerCliff

Top Emotional Intelligence Quotes:

“It’s not the stress that makes us fall, it is how we respond to situations of stress. ” -Wayne Goodall

“When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but with creatures of emotion.” — Dale Carnegie

“The emotional brain responds to an event more quickly than the thinking brain.”- Daniel Goleman.

“As more and more artificial intelligence is entering into the world, more and more emotional intelligence must enter into leadership.”- Amit Ray.

“Leadership is all about emotional Intelligence. Management is taught, while leadership is experienced.”- Rajeev Suri

“I work from the inside out” — Frank Gehry

“Do you ever look at someone and wonder, ‘What is going on inside their head?’ Well, I know. Well, I know Riley’s head.” — Joy, Inside Out

Top Emotional Intelligence Stats

  • Successful leadership — Harvard Business Review reported that 80% of competencies that differentiate top performers from others are in the domain of Emotional Intelligence.
  • Performance — 90% of top performers have above average emotional intelligence.
  • Allocation — Emotional Intelligence is responsible for 58% of job performance.
  • Usage — 75% of the Fortune 500 use emotional intelligence training.
  • Compensation Advantages — emotionally intelligent people earn $29,000 more on an average
  • Primacy — ranked #1 on a set of 33 leadership skills (Talent Smart)

Some Burning Questions:

  • Is EQ/EI correlated to high performance?
  • In a world of technology, how does EQ matter? Is it improving or disintegrating our EQ/EI? Are they inverse in relationship?
  • Is EQ/EI enforcing great skillsets or building conformity?
  • Can you game emotional intelligence?

Top Debates in Design Thinking:

  • Has EQ more important than IQ?
  • Is EI truly an intelligence?
  • Is EI tangibly better than Jung’s Big Five Personality Traits
  • Can EQ/EI be learned and strengthened, or is it inate?
  • Are women better than men at EI?

Benefits of Emotional Intelligence

  • Better social relations
  • Perceived better by others
  • More academic achievement
  • Better negotiation skills
  • Better well being, satisfaction, self-esteems, and strong healthg and well-being
  • Self-actualization

Critiques of Emotional Intelligence:

  • Is it truly measuring and intelligence or behavior?
  • Does the tests or priniples have predictive power?
  • Is there a self-claimed positivity bias on many of the tests?
  • Can emotional intelligence be used to manipulate?
  • Does EI/EQ simply measure comformity?
  • Are there certain traits like neuroticism and extra version that drive the final EI/EQ results?

Leading Resources — Top Books:

26 books on Emotional Intelligence:


Top Emotional Intelligence Courses Online


Top Thinkers in Emotional Intelligence:

White Paper on Emotional Intelligence in the Workplace


Top Podcasts on Emotional Intelligence:

Emotions Mentor: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/emotions-mentor-podcast/id1449202228

Twenty EI Podcasts Source: https://blog.feedspot.com/emotional_intelligence_podcasts/

How to Assess Your Emotional Intelligence

Here are 17 ways to assess it.

17 Ways To Assess EI/EQ https://positivepsychology.com/emotional-intelligence-tests/

How to Improve Your Emotional Intelligence

1. Work on your self-awareness

2. Reframe your perceptions of self-management

3. Become aware of your emotional triggers

4. Recognize and celebrate your positive emotions

#5 Gain emotional social awareness

#6 Learn empathy

#7 Be vulnerable

#8 Recognize your triggers and learn neutrality

#9: Get a coach

#10: Adopt a beginner’s mindset

What’s Next:

a) Join:

Join our LinkedIn page. https://www.linkedin.com/company/grey-swan-guild/ — just eclipsed 2,400 Linkedin Members to add to our 4,200 member count overall.

b) Attend

Our craft-building series will host two discussions on Framing & Reframing Problems (next Friday June 10th 11am ET Linkedin) and Futures Thinking , Possibilities & Wild cards— Clubhouse (Friday June 17th 1pm ET).

c) Participate

Our new how to get involved page: https://www.greyswanguild.org/get-involved

d) Build

12 Cygnus value-driving ventures launching in 2022 — yes that’s eyebrow raising https://www.greyswanguild.org/cygnusventures

e) Disrupt

Cygnus Sprints launched — The On-Demand Solutions Group for a Complex World (Consulting & Advisory Group) — we are changing how the way the game gets played: https://www.greyswanguild.org/cygnusprints

f) Global & Local

Vancouver — Feature City of the Month — Join us June 29th over lunch:

h) Learn

Day of the Swan — — Watch our 24 Hours of Amazing Coverage of Making Sense of the World


Grey Swan Guild
Making Sense of the World’s Biggest Challenges and Next Grey Swans — through content, experiences, intelligence, learning, community and ventures 🦢. https://www.greyswanguild.org/

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Grey Swan Guild

Making Sense of the World’s Biggest Challenges & Next Grey Swans — curating and creating knowledge through observation, informed futurism, and analysis🦢