Emotional Intelligence and EQ

The Discussion:

Emotional intelligence (EI) is most often defined as the ability to perceive, use, understand, manage, and handle emotions.

  • Identifying emotions
  • Evaluating how others feel
  • Controlling one’s own emotions
  • Perceiving how others feel
  • Using emotions to facilitate social communication
  • Relating to others


The concept of Emotional Strength was first introduced by Abraham Maslow in the 1950s. “Emotional intelligence” first t appears in a 1964 paper by Michael Beldoch. The idea of emotional intelligence was pioneered by two researchers, Peter Salavoy and John Mayer in their article “Emotional Intelligence” in the journal Imagination, Cognition, and Personality in 1990. It was later popularized by Dan Goleman in his 1995 book Emotional Intelligence. The first published use of the term ‘EQ’ (Emotional Quotient) is an article by Keith Beasley in 1987 in the British Mensa magazine.

Emnotional Intelligence Aspects :

Some call emotional intelligence a new type of cognitive intelligence, some call it merely a form of intelligence — the ability to abstract meaning form emotions and some people say it is mischaracterized as an intelligence and it’s either acquired knowledge or behavior.

  • Recognize, understand and manage our own emotions and;
  • Recognize, understand and influence the emotions of others.

The Bar-On model of Emotional-Social Intelligence (ESI)

  1. Self-awareness
    Self-awareness means always knowing what you feel and what your feelings mean.

Modified Bar On Model — Multi- Health

Goleman’s model is 2x2:

The Pyramid of Emotional Intelligence (Net Media Lab)

  • I am good at clearly communicating my thoughts and feelings.
  • I listen carefully when other people talk.
  • I take initiative and am highly motivated, even when I don’t feel like doing something
  • When I am under pressure, I am able to think clearly and stay focused.
  • I am generally guided by my goals and values rather than the goals and values of others.
  • I recognize when I am feeling stressed, and I have go-to ways to calm myself down.*
  • I recognize when I am feeling angry, and I am able to avoid losing my temper or lashing out.*
  • I am good at seeing things from another person’s viewpoint.
  • I am confident voicing a viewpoint about what is right, even if it is an unpopular opinion.
  • I am good at adapting and mixing with a variety of people.
  • I can tell if a team of people are not getting along with each other
  • When I feel anxious, I usually know the reason(s).
  • I am able to avoid letting stressful situations from work/school affect my personal life.
  • I am good at reconciling differences with other people.
  • I am aware of my personal strengths and limitations.
  • If I am not skilled at something yet, I stay positive and work even harder.
  • I try to understand how other people feel and think.
  • I work very well with a group or team.
  • I achieve a healthy balance of getting work/tasks done while also prioritizing relationships.
  • I am comfortable owning my mistakes.

Strongest Applications in:

Emotional intelligence and EQ is frequently used in building leadership, evaluating job performance, understanding dynamics of teams, looking at the ability of salespeople and showing resilience in the face of diversity; and on detecting gaps, such as within bullying situations, health and addictions.

  • Giving and receiving feedback, coaching & motivating others
  • Meeting tight deadlines
  • Dealing with challenging relationships or resolving conflicts
  • Not having enough resources
  • Navigating change and building culture
  • Working through setbacks and failure, providing psychological safety
  • Having uncomfortable conversations without hurting feelings
  • Managing our emotions when stressed or feeling overwhelmed
  • Improving relationships with the people we care about

Emotional Intelligence Skills Inventory:

Here’s a listing of the top 40+ emotional intelligence skills

40+ Emotional Intelligence Sub-Skills Source: CareerCliff

Top Emotional Intelligence Quotes:

“It’s not the stress that makes us fall, it is how we respond to situations of stress. ” -Wayne Goodall

Top Emotional Intelligence Stats

  • Successful leadership — Harvard Business Review reported that 80% of competencies that differentiate top performers from others are in the domain of Emotional Intelligence.
  • Performance — 90% of top performers have above average emotional intelligence.
  • Allocation — Emotional Intelligence is responsible for 58% of job performance.
  • Usage — 75% of the Fortune 500 use emotional intelligence training.
  • Compensation Advantages — emotionally intelligent people earn $29,000 more on an average
  • Primacy — ranked #1 on a set of 33 leadership skills (Talent Smart)

Some Burning Questions:

  • Is EQ/EI correlated to high performance?
  • In a world of technology, how does EQ matter? Is it improving or disintegrating our EQ/EI? Are they inverse in relationship?
  • Is EQ/EI enforcing great skillsets or building conformity?
  • Can you game emotional intelligence?

Top Debates in Design Thinking:

  • Has EQ more important than IQ?
  • Is EI truly an intelligence?
  • Is EI tangibly better than Jung’s Big Five Personality Traits
  • Can EQ/EI be learned and strengthened, or is it inate?
  • Are women better than men at EI?

Benefits of Emotional Intelligence

  • Better social relations
  • Perceived better by others
  • More academic achievement
  • Better negotiation skills
  • Better well being, satisfaction, self-esteems, and strong healthg and well-being
  • Self-actualization

Critiques of Emotional Intelligence:

  • Is it truly measuring and intelligence or behavior?
  • Does the tests or priniples have predictive power?
  • Is there a self-claimed positivity bias on many of the tests?
  • Can emotional intelligence be used to manipulate?
  • Does EI/EQ simply measure comformity?
  • Are there certain traits like neuroticism and extra version that drive the final EI/EQ results?

Leading Resources — Top Books:

Top Emotional Intelligence Courses Online

Top Thinkers in Emotional Intelligence:

White Paper on Emotional Intelligence in the Workplace

Top Podcasts on Emotional Intelligence:

Emotions Mentor: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/emotions-mentor-podcast/id1449202228

How to Assess Your Emotional Intelligence

Here are 17 ways to assess it.

17 Ways To Assess EI/EQ https://positivepsychology.com/emotional-intelligence-tests/

How to Improve Your Emotional Intelligence

1. Work on your self-awareness

What’s Next:

a) Join:



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